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No surprise there. By the time the cops were gone and I’d screwed a piece of plywood over the hole in the back door, it was after 1 AM.Luckily, Sundays were pretty quiet for missile crews and, aside from running some training scenarios with my crew and reacting to a few exercises from the SAC Command Post, I found time for a few naps.What happened to the intruder? Damned if I know. I never heard a thing about it.But you can be sure I replaced that back door on Monday!!Joke Gone WrongFlorence, Italy, 2013. My wife and I were on vacation. We’ve made it a habit to take a trip to Europe every year since we retired and this year we were seeing Rome, Florence and Venice. The previous year, we’d hit the Baltic countries, from Denmark and Norway to Russia. While in Russia, I was careful not to mention all the years I’d spent in Titan and Minuteman Launch Control Centers, waiting for a message telling me to nuke the hell out of the USSR.Trish and I came out of the Uffizi Gallery on a Saturday. "Jens answers, "Hell no, that's my autonomous machinegun that protects the air ducts."I give Maria a quizzical look, she just shakes her head and I decide to let the subject die.Maria orders, "We need to put some pressure on this wound then I want to move Jens to the equipment room. Do you have anything that would work as a pressure dressing?"I yell, "Hey Bernie, bring out Ivan and the diaper bag."The door opens and Bernie comes out holding Ivan with the diaper bag over his shoulder. Maria says, "I hope you have some clean diapers - they will work perfectly."Ivan says, "I good boy and not dirty many diapers much more. Is Ms. Donaldduckson hurt?"It took me a second to understand he was referring to Jens and I answered, "Yes, you are a great boy and yes Ms. Donaldson is hurt."He adds, "I help when young girl was hurt by sitting on diaper."Maria has already started to put the pressure dressing on Jens' wound using the diaper and answers, "Well, we will need to carry her to the equipment.
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